


Everything and Nothing

by Mrs_Potts_Stark



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Parent Tony Stark, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28551312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Potts_Stark/pseuds/Mrs_Potts_Stark
Summary: Tony Stark was 3 years old at the time of his first kidnapping. He was standing in the garden admiring nature — one of the rare occasions when he got to enjoy being a kid.The next thing he remembers is being forcibly shoved into the back of a van. He remembers struggling, screaming for someone, anyone. His mother, father, Jarvis, but his pleas weren’t heard. His yells are muffled as his mouth is quickly taped shut, his vision going darkOriginally posted on May 29th 2020 and previously titled Greatest Creation
Relationships: Ana Jarvis & Tony Stark, Edwin Jarvis & Tony Stark, Howard Stark & Maria Stark & Tony Stark, Howard Stark & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) & Tony Stark, Maria Stark & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Stark Robots
Kudos: 46





	Everything and Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raven_E_Stark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_E_Stark/gifts).



> Thank You so much Raven_E_Stark for Proofreading and Editing!
> 
> And a very big Thank You to my best friend for helping. I couldn't have written this without her!

Tony Stark was three years old at the time of his first kidnapping. He was standing in the garden admiring nature — one of the rare occasions when he got to enjoy being a kid. 

The cool summer’s breeze caressed his skin, filling his nose with the sweet smells of his mother’s plants. The scents of rosemary and lavender were quickly ripped away from him and remain one of the few things he remembers from this crumbling memory in his mind. The next thing he remembers is being forcibly shoved into the back of a van. He remembers struggling but this person was strong and no matter how much he kicked and thrashed his arms, the person didn’t even flinch. He screamed for someone- anyone- making his throat hoarse and raw. He sobbed for his mother, father, Jarvis, but his pleas weren’t heard. His yells were muffled as his mouth is quickly taped shut, his vision going dark. A blindfold. 

He tried to locate something, to give him an indication of where he was. He gingerly felt around the cold, metal floor, his fingers grazing over the occasional bump in the material. He doesn't know, he can’t feel anything, but it's dark. He stretched his fingers out, daringly, a little further to find the rough outline of a shoe. He wrenched his arm back to his body, clinging to it for dear life… he kept his hands to himself for the rest of the journey. The people are not nice, talking in hushed voices, snarling whenever the caught a glimpse of him in their peripheral vision, roughly forcing him back further into the corner.

They reached whatever location they had in mind, the long and tiring ride was over as the breaks screeched; the van coming to a halt. His whole concept of time disappeared in the van… was it nighttime? Did I eat lunch yet? Once again, he was handled harshly, his blindfold now wet because of his tears. The people tied him to a chair, and although he was far too young to understand most things, he knew that they would not hesitate to hurt him. So, he gave in, he didn’t make a sound and let them lock the door and leave him there. No food, no water. Nothing. Just him, tied to a chair with a wet blindfold, with no one there to keep him company. The silence around him was painful. Every small sound made him flinch- was someone there with him the whole time?

They often checked in on him, and during these visits, Tony found out that they wanted to get their hands on Howard’s latest weapon design. How? Kidnap his three-year-old son. Tony scoffed; they were being stupid. Howard refused to pay them even a penny and to make matters even worse, Tony’s kidnappers were just as stubborn. A gruelling week passes before Tony finally manages to escape with the help of a pen he had wired to blow. His cheeks were blistering from the tears and rubbing of his blindfold but the pain and hunger gnawing away at his stomach disappeared with time. He came home with multiple broken bones, bruises littering his arms and a concussion. Howard does not come to the hospital. Something about being too busy. 

Tony was four when Howard finally lets him into his lab. He was amazed at the gadgets in the room- they stole the breath from his lungs. The gadgets his father built, glistening in all their pride, were better than any toy on a shelf he had ever seen. He became determined to show his father that he could be like him as he watched the man staring down at a piece of paper, fiddling a pencil between his fingers and hum along to the radio. He finds a magazine on a shopping trip with his mother on the top shelf with the words “How to build a circuit board in 10 easy steps!” practically jumping off the page. His mother can’t understand why a boy of his age wouldn’t rather the magazine with the collector’s pack of baseball cards instead, but she won’t resist seeing his little face light up with glee when he flicks through the pages. 

The DIY magazine becomes Tony’s bible. He studies the pages, holding onto every detail. He builds the circuit board and his father smiles at him. Tony has never felt such euphoria from seeing something as simple as his father smile- at him! He never smiles, never mind for Tony. His heart swells in his chest as he watches his father inspect his circuit board… the only thing he can't figure out is why a man is following him around with a camera the next day. He doesn't realise that all this is for the front page of a newspaper. Tony wants his father to spend time with him but an annoyed look with an angry grumble to not waste his time is all he gets when he links a light bulb to the circuit board. It's Edwin Jarvis that spends time with him. Asking him about school, helping him with homework, and tending to his injuries. Maria teaches him how to play the piano, her piano that she got as a gift and was taught by her mother, and he loves it. He loves that his mother is spending time with him, is willing to share a part of her life with him. His fondest memories are laying on her lap watching her dainty fingers dance across the keys as he slowly fell asleep.

Tony was ten when he went from watching delicate, dainty fingers to harsh and forceful fists. This also marked the first time Howard laid his hands on him. He came home drunk, grumbling about nothing like always. His mother pretended like everything was fine, kept smiling, took his coat, fetched him a leftover plate of dinner he had missed for the third time this week. Tony’s frustrations were bubbling at the surface watching his mother run around for her poor excuse of a husband and made his biggest mistake: confronting them. He’d never forget the look of fear in his mother’s eyes as she saw him storm towards Howard. Tony barely spoke before his father’s plate crashed to the floor, food scattering everywhere as he stood up and grabbed Tony by the collar. Tony used all the strength he had in him to stop the tears in his eyes from falling as his father berated him, slapping his face trying to get Tony to make eye contact- he couldn’t or the tears would start running and never stop. He could barely hear his mother’s shrieks in the background over Howard’s booming voice. 

The silence following Howard’s rage was deafening. Tony stood in shock still against the wall, the ghost of his father’s grip could still be felt on his shoulders. How long ago had he stormed off; Tony couldn’t tell. He almost didn’t notice his shaking mother trembling as she knelt on the floor below him, picking up the food. They made eye contact but didn’t make any sound. The look in his mother’s eyes was a mixture of burning shame and disappointment that shattered Tony’s heart.  
Howard’s drunken routine only worsened over the years, and every day ended with the Stark heir hiding behind closed doors, in fear of his father. He learnt that day to avoid conflict with his father… for his mother’s sake.

This was also around the time his father’s biggest obsession became a familiar name around his house. Howard constantly compares Tony to Captain America. Captain America wouldn't do this. He wouldn't do that. Tony didn’t dare question the almighty “Captain America” but the jealously growing in the pit of his stomach got bigger every time he heard the name. Tony quickly started avoiding conversations that would end in getting compared to the national treasure as Howard’s comparison got more and more elaborate as each day passed. Each night he came home, Maria’s voice dripping with forced sweetness would ring **“Good evening! How was your day, Howard?”**

Howard stopped bothering to even acknowledge his wife before his tangent about the all-American hero began, **“You’ll never guess we achieved today”** and so it would continue right up until a plate of food was put in his lap. Tony started to contemplate starving himself just to avoid the droning of his father’s voice. 

By the age of twelve, Tony has been kidnapped 15 times; each worse than the last. Howard never visits him at the hospital. Tony wants to scream until all the pain pent up in his body was gone. Every time he found himself waking up in a hospital bed, he had approximately 15 minutes to cry and scream into his pillow until it all became numb and his mother would enter the room with her emotionless smile. It hurts so much that his father can’t take the time to come see his son in the hospital. He begins to doubt his father’s love, his father’s care, or lack thereof, he evens stops looking to his mother’s side expecting to see the man. Maria gives him a shaky smile, assured him that his father does care about him. And again, the overwhelming urge to scream and shout engulfs him. If he cares, then why isn't he here? Why isn't he spending time with his son? The endless questions swim around in his mind, he can’t say anything or it will have bad consequences… plus he doesn’t need the hospital on his case about anything else. His mother can hush them with her payments after each kidnapping but an additional ‘don’t-file-a-law-suit-against-my-abusive-husband’ fee might be too much to ask.

At age fourteen, Tony builds his first robot. He spends months working on a robotic arm. Making sure the code is right, figuring out the nooks and crannies. The bot is not perfect, but he is useful. He is the first of the many robotic children made by him, so Tony keeps him. He names him DUM-E because he's so clumsy, but Tony loves him. The first time DUM-E comes online, he is confused. It startles Tony, but it is quickly trumped by the excitement and happiness he feels that he just created a sentient robot! Over time, DUM-E learns, observes, grows and become clumsier. He understands Tony, his moods, his sarcasm. He knows that he will always protect his creator. Tony regards DUM-E as one of his closest confidants to make up for what he lacks in parents and friends. 

Three years later, Tony graduates from M.I.T. and it’s all over the news within minutes, being the only thing the media can talk about: 

**'Stark graduates from M.I.T. age 17’**

The media follow him everywhere like dogs and he hates it. The attention and constant badgering. He wishes he could’ve had a normal life but laughs it off since he knows that it’s pipe dreaming. He envied any young person he saw on the street without a care in the world, not caring if they had already worn that jacket this week or what they had in their bag, what brand of cologne they were wearing, who they were with. Being forced into the limelight only pushed him further away from having any emotional but unmitigated rage for his father.

Four years later, the chances of a ‘normal’ life turn to smithereens as he found out his parents died in a car crash. While he was out buying presents with Rhodey, his parents were long gone from the world, and he found out through the news- how fitting. He doesn't cry, not for his father, at least. Why should he? His father never loved him. He cries for his mother; he cries because Maria was the only good thing in his life alongside the Jarvis’s and Rhodey. He mourned because now, he could never be in her arms again, he could never listen to her play piano for him. He could never hear her say that she loved him. He wished deep down that his father could have just died and let his mother breathe for the first time in 20 years but wishing was something he learnt was stupid a long time ago when he lived with Howard all those years.

Butterfingers and U were created a few months later, as a result of how lonely he felt. He loves them, he loves that DUM-E now has younger siblings. They are shy, but over time grow accustomed to their environment. They love to hide his tools, make him chase them around to get them back. Soft chuckles and empty threats of donation to a community college are heard after they make a mess of the lab. All three of the bots let out an amused beep, their way of acknowledging their father’s jokes. 

Tony loses Jarvis at the age of twenty-two, and for the first time in his life, he feels numb. His whole world crumbles around him, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn’t know what to feel, his body shuts down to the point where even Rhodey could not coax a reaction out of him. Weeks after the funeral Tony doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, he doesn't want to do anything except stare. Stare at the picture of him with Edwin and Ana Jarvis, his family. He wants to mourn for the man that always protected him when no one else would, the man that was more of a father than his own ever was. 

Months after the Jarvis’ deaths, Tony wakes up with an urge he hadn’t felt in ages: the urge to build. He creates an AI, something he’s infinitely proud of. A crisp, yet familiar British accent rings through the speakers, causing his lips to quirk up in a resemblance of a smile. 

**"Good Evening, Sir. How can I be of service?”** soothe his ears and he finally breaks. He falls to his knees and lets the tears flow, the happiness radiating from him upon hearing the voice he thought he would never hear again. He chokes out a response in between his sobs. 

**“JARVIS. Your name is JARVIS.”**

JARVIS learns, understands and adapts faster than the bots because Tony codes him to be that way. To learn, on his own. Just within a day of being activated, he decides that he does not like Howard Stark. Within a week, he is managing SI's most sensitive information, new weapon designs and private projects. Over the years, JARVIS becomes Tony's source of comfort. The only thing he has left of his late family. 

Late-night debates and discussions happen frequently, often ending with Tony’s remark of where JARVIS learned to reply with such sass, and JARVIS’s snarky reply of, **“I have no idea where I could have learned such a thing, Sir.”** Although he has no idea where he gets the sass from, no matter how many times he has to argue that, **“No, Rhodey, they did not learn it from me!”** JARVIS and the bots make him a Father's Day card. And to this day Tony will deny that he cried. Rhodes says otherwise and will pull up recordings taken by said A.I as proof. 

Yes, the bots and JARVIS are annoying, but Tony wouldn't trade them for the world. They’re all he has when he’s working, they’re his family. When he gets back from Afghanistan, he spends about an hour struggling to form coherent sentences, as his body could not handle how overwhelmingly happy, he was to hear JARVIS’s voice again. Tony is overwhelmed with emotion and feels tears pricking his eyes with the ache in his chest as he looked around the still workshop. The whirring and beeping of JARVIS and the bots died down as Tony walked toward the table collecting dust; all his papers and tools perfectly still and exactly as he had left them. Tony clenched the edge of the table as burning shame in himself begun to rise, his father’s voice seeping poison in his mind as he remembered the rush of excitement he felt walking into his father’s workshop. That feeling dissipated over the years to a point that Tony dreaded entering the workshop. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror pushed Tony over the edge, sending his rage and frustrations into a cataclysmic chain of destruction. His heart pounded in his ears as he catapulted the spanner into the shimmering mirror in the sunlight. Tony burst into tears as the mirror smashed, his papers sprayed across the floor and chairs discarded in corners. Exhausted, tony slumped down and called out for the only ‘person’ he knew he could rely on wholeheartedly. JARVIS, in turn, sounded positively ecstatic to have Sir back, his robotic British tone having an edge of pure emotion in it when responding to Tony’s cry. Sir is home, Sir is safe. After watching their creator struggle for his life, be betrayed by the man he thought to be his father figure, the bots and JARVIS come to a silent agreement to always protect him. 

They will never let Sir be hurt. It is their primary directive to protect the Stark heir.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a comment and kudos! Feedback is always welcome.


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